Month: November 2021

The COVID-19 pandemic has been hard on so many people in so many ways. For babies born during this pandemic, a study published in JAMA Pediatrics suggests that the damage has potential to be lifelong.

The first three years of life are crucial for brain development. And it’s not just the health of babies that matters, but the interactions between babies and their caregivers. Babies need to be touched, held, spoken to, smiled at, played with. As they receive and respond to those interactions, in a “serve and return” kind of way, neural connections are built in the brain. When babies don’t have those interactions, or enough of them, their brains don’t develop as they should — and can even be literally smaller.

When you are a stressed or depressed parent or caregiver, it can be hard to find the time, let alone the energy or interest, to talk to and play with your infant. There are multiple studies showing that maternal depression, poverty, and other family stressors can change the development of a child forever.

How was the study done?

In this study, part of an ongoing study of mothers and babies, researchers from Columbia University looked at the development of three groups of 6-month-old babies. Two of the groups were born during the COVID-19 pandemic; the mothers of one group had COVID-19, while the mothers of the other did not. The third group was a historical cohort (a group of babies who were born before the pandemic).

Mothers participating in the study used an Ages and Stages Questionnaire (ASQ-3) to record their babies’ development. The researchers noted no difference in the development of the two groups of babies born during the pandemic, suggesting that prenatal exposure to COVID-19 doesn’t affect development, which is great news. But the babies born during the pandemic scored lower in gross motor, fine motor, and social-emotional development than the babies born before the pandemic. Examples of developmental tasks for infants this age are rolling from back to tummy (gross motor), reaching for or grasping a toy with both hands (fine motor), and acting differently to strangers than to parents or familiar people (social-emotional development).

What does it suggest about infant development during the pandemic?

It’s just one study, and we need to do more research to better understand this, but the findings are not really surprising given what we know about infant development. The COVID-19 pandemic has caused a lot of stress — emotional, financial, and otherwise — for so many families. It has also markedly affected the number and kind of interactions we have with other people. Babies are on average interacting with fewer people (and seeing fewer faces because of masking) than they did before the pandemic.

Even though we need to do more research, this study should serve as an alarm bell for us as a society. The children of this pandemic may carry some scars forever if we don’t act now. We’ve been seeing the emotional and educational effects on children; we need to be aware of the developmental effects on babies, too. All of these could permanently change their lives.

What can we do to address these challenges?

We need to find ways to support families with young children, financially and emotionally. We need to be energetic and creative, and work every angle we can. While our government should play a role, communities and individuals can help too.

We need to refer families to and fund early intervention programs around the country that support the development of children from birth to 3 years of age. Because of the pandemic, many of these programs have moved to virtual visits, which can make them less effective. So we need to get creative here, too. We can’t just wait for the pandemic to be over.

And parents and caregivers of infants and toddlers need to know about this research — and ask for help. It’s understandable and natural for parents to think that babies are too small and unaware to be affected by the pandemic. But they are affected, in ways that could be long-lasting. Talk to your doctor about what you can do to help yourself, your family, and your baby’s future.

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Breathe. Count to 10. Take a walk. These strategies have long been advised to help you pause and rethink your reaction when you’re seeing red and an inch away from exploding. Under normal circumstances — maybe a little stress at home or at work — those strategies can be useful. But you may find they’re less effective in the pressure cooker we’ve been living in since the pandemic began. What can you do to avoid reaching your boiling point?

For insight, I turned to psychologist Stuart Ablon, founder and director of Think:Kids in the department of psychiatry at Harvard-affiliated Massachusetts General Hospital. Ablon is an expert at defusing explosive behavior among kids and teens with severe developmental delays in problem solving, flexibility, and tolerance to frustration — the skills that keep us from melting down.

Pandemic stress blocks our coping abilities

Ablon says many adults are struggling with a lack of these skills right now — not because we haven’t developed them, but because pandemic stress is blocking them. “When we humans are chronically stressed, we lose access to the part of our brain that performs skills like flexibility and tolerance,” Ablon says.

Blocked skills can reduce our coping abilities to those of little children, like toddlers who scream when they don’t get their way.

Practice empathy

Ablon says it’s crucial to stay calm or “regulated” when you’re feeling mad or upset, so you can access the skills needed to maintain control. And the best way to remain calm, Ablon says, is by practicing empathy — trying to sense another person’s perspective or point of view.

“Empathy is the most powerful human regulator we have. It’s been proven to de-escalate people in the most challenging of prison settings, and it can also work on an airplane or in line at Starbucks,” Ablon says. “Think about it: when someone listens to you and tries to understand your point of view, it calms you. You can feel your heart rate drop.”

How does empathy help you?

Calming others is great, but how does being empathetic keep you from exploding? It has a domino effect.

• Trying to understand someone else's point of view may change your mind about how you want to react. It will also give you something important to do, which will keep you focused so you can remain calm.
• Being calm enables you to access coping skills like problem solving, flexibility, and tolerance to frustration.
• Accessing your coping skills strengthens your ability to keep your cool.
• Because you’re calm, you’ll keep someone else from exploding, which in turn helps you continue to stay calm.

Four steps to help you stop seeing red

To practice empathy, Ablon recommends the following steps.

• Adopt a mindset that people are doing the best they can. “We’re all trying our best to handle what the world is throwing at us, with the skills we’re able to access at that moment. None of us wants to be losing it,” Ablon says. “Think to yourself, ‘This person I’m interacting with isn’t giving me what I want, but this person is doing the best they can right now.’ If you can exude that, you will help regulate them. It’s incredibly contagious — the same way a parent who stays calm can soothe a crying baby, or a kindergarten teacher with supreme calmness can regulate a whole class.”
• Be curious, not furious. Ablon recommends asking questions without jumping to conclusions, so you can find out where people are coming from. What are their circumstances? What’s driven them to this moment? What do they need?
• Practice active listening. “One of the most powerful things you can do to regulate someone is to repeat back to them what you’re hearing from them in your own words. It makes them feel heard,” Ablon says. “So ask questions, and when you get information, reflect back what you’ve heard. It’s called active listening.”
• Offer reassurance. Remind the person you’re talking to that you’re trying to help. “Say, ‘I’m just trying to understand. I know you must have an important reason and I want to hear more. I’m not trying to get you upset. I want to work things out.’ That’s very calming and regulating,” Ablon says.

It may not be easy to remain empathetic in these challenging times. But the more you practice this skill, the more empathetic you’ll become. That can deliver significant results. “If you can stay calm and approach someone kindly and with understanding,” Ablon says, “it will head things off at the pass for both of you.”